“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it.” Psalm 139:14 NLT)
“What are mere mortals that You should think about them, human beings that You should care for them? Yet You made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor. You gave them charge of everything you made, putting all things under their authority.” (Psalm 8:4-6 NLT)
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.” (Ephesians 1:3-6 NKJV)
Did you ever notice that when we look at a group picture we immediately look for ourselves before we look at the others in the picture? Did you ever stop to think about why that is? I know for myself, it is due to either insecurity (I take such lousy pictures) or vanity (hope they got my good side). Most of us either think too little, or too much, of ourselves. It is part of the human condition. I am constantly saying to myself, “get over yourself Eric.” The quicker we learn that we are not the center of the universe the better.
For a long time I had such a low self esteem that when I looked in the mirror all I could see was a fat, ugly, loser that was a waste of God given talent. Being the youngest of 4 boys, I grew up feeling like I was in the shadow of my older brothers. While they did nothing to purposely feed my insecurities, I somehow developed a deep need for their acceptance, and recognition, which I did not think I had. The harder I tried to impress them the more I felt like they didn’t care. I then transferred these needs, without realizing it, onto my wife and employers. For most of my childhood, and well into my adult life, I was driven to somehow earn the acceptance and recognition of those around me. No matter how hard I tried I felt like I never got what I needed. When I didn’t get what I needed I felt like a failure, which in turn caused me to unknowingly “sabotage” what I was doing. This would set me up to fail, which resulted in failed ministry and business attempts, lost jobs,, and eventually poor life choices that degraded my health. The sad thing is, that for all of those years I had within me, as a born again believer in Jesus Christ, the very presence of the One who loves, accepts, and fully recognizes me unconditionally. When I looked in the mirror I was seeing the wrong person.
Someone gave me the following advice, which was probably the best advice I have ever been given. After unloading how I looked at myself this person said, “Eric, if you don’t like what you see, stop looking in the mirror.” She then helped me to see that what I was seeing was not the “real” Eric. What I was seeing was a warped view based on a long history of failed attempts and the deep rooted desire to somehow impress those who were closest to me. The solution to my lifelong struggle was actually very simple, yet deeply profound. I am accepted. The One who knows me best, loves me most.
5 years ago I looked in the mirror and saw a man that was depressed, morbidly obese, on medications for high blood pressure, cholesterol, depression and anxiety. I lived (actually survived) without hope for change, begging Jesus to come quickly so that I had a way out of what I thought was a hopeless future. Today when I look in that same mirror I see a person who is loved, accepted, and fully recognized by His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I see a man who as a result of this acceptance is full of hope, has been set free from his food addiction, and no longer takes medication as he has been healed of all of his health issues. Let’s live together….
…Eric’s Life Lesson # 5: “If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, stop looking in the mirror!”