“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” (Proverbs 13:12 NLT)
“And proclaim as you go, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay. (Matthew 10:7-8 ESV)
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9 NKJV)
Day 21: Sunday (11/21) Conclusion – So there I was, baffled, undone, dissapointed, and at a loss. I was looking through the window as Melody was being removed from the machine, knowing that my last opportunity to be an instument of healing was slipping away. Yet, in simple obedience to the Lord I sat quietly, with tears rolling down my face, in silent praise and worship to my King. Then it hit me. Daddy is going to give me the thrill of a lifetime as together we raise Melody from the dead. The commission given by Jesus has never been repealed. I have heard reports of this still happening around the world, but I have never actually witnessed this extreme of a physical miracle personally. In a flash, it all made sense. Wow!
As expected, as soon as the ventilator was removed Melody’s vital signs dropped, and within moments she was “flat lined.” I watched as the Doctor looked at the wall clock and pronounced the time of death. It would be a few minutes for the team to get Melody’s body ready for me to reenter the room. As they did their work, I waited in anticipation of the opportunity to walk boldly into the room, lay hands on her lifeless body, and watch Melody return to life. They were finally done. Now’s my chance!
The team exited the room and I was invited to go in. I was ready, but as I walked through the doorway I heard the same familiar voice within clearly say, “No.” My heart sunk. Yet, by the Grace of God, I was able to endure the pain of the moment and make my way to Melody’s body. I simply kissed her on the forehead, told her I loved her and would see her again soon, and left the room, and the hospital.
As I was driving home I told Daddy that I did not understand what had just happened. With tears again streaming down my cheeks, I turned on the radio and began singing along with the praise music that was playing. I told Him that I would accept the “mystery” of the moment, but that this was not finished. I knew that He hid treasures “for” me, not “from” me. I knew that it was His desire to reveal His mysteries to His sons and daughters if they were willing to seek them out. I knew that my Daddy was Good no matter what my thoughts and emotions wanted me to believe during this current moment.
For the next 48 hours I isolated myself with Daddy. For the first 24 hours, much like how David started so many of his Psalms, I cried out in agony. There was no anger, no questioning the Goodness, or Love, of my Daddy. But oh the depths of the pain. Everything that I thought I knew, everything that I had prepared to do, was now in question. What I thought was clear revelation was now a mystery. How could I go on without the only one, other than Jesus, who truly knew me, and loved me anyway (for no good reason at all). Why Daddy, Why?
Daddy patiently, lovingly, allowed me to cry out to Him in desperation. Then, after about 24 hours, something changed. Instead of answering my questions, Daddy asked me a few of His own. “Do you Love me?” Yes. “Do you trust me?” Yes. “Will you hold on to the Truths that I have already taught you even though what you are going through seems to contradict them? Yes. Just like in the Psalms when David finishes a few verses of crying out, without any apparent answer to his cries, or change in his surroundings, he flips to recognizing the Goodness of God, and the Truth that sets him free from his current situation. For the next 24 hours the Scriptures pertaining to all that was accomplished through the death, burial, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus became fresh revelation. The revelation that he bore my griefs set me free from grieving over the death of Melody. The revelation that he carried my sorrows lifted my sorrow and filled me to overflowing with unspeakable joy. The revelation that he took all of my pain released me from the agonizing pain of not understanding why Melody wasn’t healed, and filled me with an excitement of starting the journey of discovery of Daddy’s treasures, and the unlocking of His mysteries. In just 48 hours I was “Kingdom – Naturally” set free from what those around me would soon be telling me would take a very long time, and most likely would linger for the rest of my life.
There is so much more to say, however it is time to move into the next segment of Life Lessons. So here is what we are going to do. Let’s learn and grow through a few more of Eric’s Life Lessons, and then we will get into this deeper as we walk together through “12 Months of Firsts.”