“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 BSB)
“But forget all that-it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.”(Isaiah 43:18 NLT)
“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:6 NLT)
The last “piece” of my life journey that we looked at was the 48 hour period immediately following the departure of my wife Melody. At the end of a 21 day fight for her life, Melody moved to her “Mansion in the Sky” (sure beats anything I had provided for her). This fight came after 3 years of battling to overcome muscle weakness, fatigue, breathing issues, anxiety, and panic attacks, that were triggered by a near death experience in 2018.
The final blow to Melody’s weakened body came in the form of Covid. Her lungs were simply too weak to stand against the ravishes of this deadly disease that preys on the weak and feeble. If you read my previous account, you are aware that her death left me locking myself away for 48 hours of intimate, brutally honest, life transforming, conversation with my Daddy (my Heavenly Abba Father). In this exchange He set the foundation for the following 12 months of life. A transition period which I have labeled as my “12 Months of Firsts”. Let’s begin moving forward by reminding ourselves of what took place during those 48 hours. I think the best way to do that is to reprint what was said before. Immediately following Melody’s move to heaven…
…For the next 48 hours I isolated myself with Daddy. For the first 24 hours, much like how David started so many of his Psalms, I cried out in agony. There was no anger, no questioning the Goodness, or Love, of my Daddy. But oh the depths of the pain. Everything that I thought I knew, everything that I had prepared to do, was now in question. What I thought was clear revelation was now a mystery. How could I go on without the only one, other than Jesus, who truly knew me, and loved me anyway (for no good reason at all). Why Daddy, Why?
Daddy patiently, lovingly, allowed me to cry out to Him in desperation. Then, after about 24 hours, something changed. Instead of answering my questions, Daddy asked me a few of His own. “Do you Love me?” Yes. “Do you trust me?” Yes. “Will you hold on to the Truths that I have already taught you even though what you are going through seems to contradict them?” Yes.
Just like in the Psalms, when David finishes a few verses of crying out, without any apparent answer to his cries, or change in his surroundings, he flips to recognizing the Goodness of God, and the Truth that sets him free from his current situation. For the next 24 hours the Scriptures pertaining to all that was accomplished through the death, burial, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus became fresh revelation. The revelation that he bore my griefs set me free from grieving over the death of Melody. The revelation that he carried my sorrows lifted my sorrow and filled me to overflowing with unspeakable joy. The revelation that he took all of my pain released me from the agonizing pain of not understanding why Melody wasn’t healed, and filled me with an excitement of starting the journey of discovery of Daddy’s treasures, and the unlocking of His mysteries. In just 48 hours I was “Kingdom – Naturally” set free from what those around me would soon be telling me would take a very long time, and most likely would linger for the rest of my life.
Now I think we are ready to jump into my “21 Months of Firsts”…
…Tomorrow…