“…Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5 NKJV)
“…I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on…” (Philippians 3:13b-14a NLT)
“It is God’s privelege to conceal things and the king’s privelege to discover them.” (Proverbs 25:2 NLT)
They say that “hindsight is 20-20,” well, it is for me. Have you ever taken time to look back at life’s changing moments and realized that, without your knowing it, you were being prepared for what was about to take place?
About 6 months before Melody left to be with the Lord I launched my daily blog. Daddy (my Heavenly Abba Father) impressed upon my heart the need to write several blog entries on the topics “Impossible” and “Mystery.” What I thought I was writing for others turned out to be Daddy’s way of preparing me for what was soon to come. What He taught me about living in the realm of “Impossible” prepared me to boldly confront sickness and death without fear. His revelation knowledge pertaining to the realm of “Mystery” was preparing me to accept (for the moment) the unwanted results of Melody’s hospital stay without letting the experience blow me out of the water, or lead me to try to change what Scriptures say to match my experience. It actually launched me into a “Treasure Hunt” for revealed truth as I entered into this “12 months of firsts.”
Just 4 days after Melody’s departure was Thanksgiving. To be honest, I do not have a clear recollection of that day’s activities. I know I was in quarantine for Covid. I know that I did not gather with family as I normally would if I had been free to leave the apartment. One thing I do remember is the emptiness that I felt facing my first Thanksgiving without Melody. Daddy had delivered me from grief. He had lifted my sorrow. However, the emotions of desperately missing the one that I had loved so deeply, for so many years, was very present in my mind and emotions. On a day in which we celebrate being thankful I once again found myself confronted with the need to ask Daddy to help me find the strength to do just that.
As I asked Daddy to help me through the day, He began bringing to life within me a picture of Melody enjoying her “new life” free from all of the issues that led up to her transition out of this earthly realm. No more physical limitations. All muscle weakness and fatigue were gone. Now, for the first time in many years, the renewed youth that she possessed was in full manifestation. I was beginning to see her run, and jump, and turn cartwheels just like she would have as a young girl. No more struggling to fill her lungs with air. When I closed my eyes I could see her moving about freely without any fear of needing to get to her BiPap. And greatest of all, no more middle of the night panic attacks in which she would call me at work at about 2am struggling to breath and feeling like she was going to die of suffocation. Daddy flooded my mind with images of her sleeping peacefully with no non-invasive respirator any where in sight.
In many ways this “first” of many more “firsts” yet to come during my journey through “12 months of firsts” was a tough experience. Oh how I longed to be with my dear wife. But Daddy filled the void as He gave me the ability to see how wonderful this day was for Melody in her new home, liviing her new life. I could just see Melody talking to her mom, and my mom, about the things they were going to do, and then looking at the two of them and asking, “so what are we going to do with Ruthanne?” (my Dad’s second wife of 20 years whom he married after my mom went to heaven two weeks before their 50th wedding anniversary).
Tomorrow we will begin the “Treasure Hunt.”