Eric’s Life Lesson # 9: “Always say what you mean, and mean what you say.”

“But most of all, my brothers and sisters, never take an oath, by heaven or earth or anything else. Just say a simple yes or no, so that you will not sin and be condemned.” (James 5:12 NLT)

“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘you shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white of black. But let your ‘Yes be Yes’ and your ‘No, No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37 NKJV)

“But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgement. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37 NKJV)

When I was first married, in order to keep from upsetting my beautiful new bride, I would at times be creative with my word usage. For example, when she would ask if I had taken out the trash (which I had “forgotten” to do), I would tell her “it was taken care of,” with the intention of taking it out before she would ever know the difference. You will notice that I did not tell her that I had taken it out (even though I was hoping she would think I had). There were many areas in which I would use this “creative communication” in order to “keep the peace.” I called it “fudging” (after all, I wasn’t actually speaking lies, or was I?) The problem was, the more I would “fudge” the less credibility my words would have. Just like the little boy that cried wolf, over time it became difficult to know what was “fact” or “fiction.”

Early in our marriage, while I was serving as an “Interim Youth Leader” we decided to buy a home. We moved into the house under a “rent to own” agreement and started the financing process. In order to increase the likelihood of being approved by the bank, I conveniently left off the word “interim” from the paperwork. We made it all the way to closing when the bank became aware that my position was “interim” and was ending soon. With this information the bank terminated the application and we had to move out of the house. “Fudging” didn’t work out too well. It has been said that “your word is your bond.” in this case “my word was my bad.”

Abram also had a situation in which he was caught “fudging.” Let’s look at the story as recorded in Genesis 12:10-20 (NKJV):

“Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to dwell there, for the famine was severe in the land. And it came to pass, when he was close to entering Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, “Indeed I know that you are a woman of beautiful countenance. Therefore it will happen, when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife’; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. Please say you are my sister, that it may be well with me for your sake, and that I may live because of you.” So it was, when Abram came into Egypt, that the Egyptians saw the woman, that she was very beautiful. The princes of Pharaoh also saw her and commended her to Pharaoh. And the woman was taken to Pharaoh’s house. He treated Abram well for her sake. He had sheep, oxen, male donkeys, male and female servants, female donkeys, and camels. But the Lord plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. And Pharaoh called Abram and said, “What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife? Why did you say, ‘she is my sister’? I might have taken her as my wife. Now therefore, here is your wife; take her and go your way.” So Pharaoh commanded his men concerning him; and they sent him away, with his wife and all that he had.”

Abram thought he had a loophole, as Sarai was not only his wife, but also his half sister. Just like I conveniently left out the word “interim” with the bank, he left out the word “wife.” He was “fudging” and even worse, he got Sarai to do the same. If God had not bailed them out they would have been in a world of trouble. No wonder both James and Jesus made it very clear that we are to “let your ‘yes be yes’ and your ‘no, no’.” Honesty truly is the best policy. All of us can learn from…

…Eric’s Life Lesson # 9: “Always say what you mean, and mean what you say.”