“For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me, and what I dreaded has happened to me.” (Job 3:25 NKJV)
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV)
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT)
Day 6: Saturday (11/6) continued – On this intrepid Saturday morning, in which Covid was beginning to have its way in Melody’s body, we drove Savannah to her other grandma’s house and then proceeded to the hospital. Through the drive there Melody projected a deep peace, and exhibited a calmness that filled the car (I didn’t so much notice this at the moment, but Daddy brought this to my memory a few weeks later). When we pulled up to the emergency entrance we were greeted by a hospital employee who gathered some basic information and informed us that the current “Covid Policy” prohibited me from accompanying her into the hospital. I expected this to throw Melody for a loop, but to my amazement she looked up at me from the wheelchair that had been provided upon our arrival and said, “don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine” (hang with me, as the significance of her demeaner will become clear in time). As Melody was wheeled into the hospital I got in my car and wheeled out of the parking lot, calling my family to let them know what was taking place as I made my way home. This was one of the longest days of my life as I faced the reality of having my wife in the hospital for an unknown period of time without me. She had spent many occasions in hospitals, but never without me at her bedside.
Day 7: Sunday (11/7) – On Sunday I participated in our “On-Line Church” in order to glean the positive support of the Word, and meet with my Daddy in His “House of Worship” (in this case my living room). I was gearing up to confront the enemy face to face and get my wife back home!
Day 8: Monday (11/8) – As I was now in “Covid Quarantine,” and Melody was settled into her “hotel room,” life became a somewhat confined experience. At least this left me plenty of time to focus on writing blogs, reading, time with the Lord, time with my granddaughter-daughter Savannah who was quarantined with me, and sleep (plenty of sleep). I also spent much time on the phone with my hospital bound wife.
Day 9: Tuesday (11/9) – More of the same.
Day 10: Wednesday (11/10) – More of the same.
Day 11: Thursday (11/11) – More of the same. At this point, being in quarantine which excluded contact with others, Savannah and I I began to feel a bit “stir crazy.”
Day 12: Friday (11/12) – Melody took a turn for the worse. her breathing was becoming more labored requiring her to spend more and more time on her BiPap. This made it more difficult for us to spend time on the phone. Her body and mind were also becoming fatigued as she was being attacked from two fronts (Myasthenia Gravis weakness and Covid). I talked to a nurse who said that they were concerned that if things didn’t turn around soon Melody may be faced with the possibility of more aggressive steps to assist her breathing (the dreaded ventilator). Since 2018 the thought of being placed on a ventilator was to Melody a horrific nightmare.
Day 13: Saturday (11/13) – Melody was now struggling to keep her BiPap off long enough to talk. While she could listen as I talked (which if you know me you know that my mind is filled with an overflowing abundance of words), she was doing very little speaking herself. Amazingly, she was still filled with hope which came through clearly in the few words that she did speak.
Day 14: Sunday (11/14) – Nothing new on this day. No improvement was demonstrated, but Praise the Lord, no downward progression of health was demonstrated either. We just continued to pray, speak the Word, and believe for a miracle.
Day 15: Monday (11/15) – Throughout the day on Monday I was unable to speak to Melody. In my daily conversation with the nurse I was told that Melody’s medications had been raised and that she was sleeping. I was also told that she could no longer take her BiPap off long enough to speak to me. They were concerned about her ongoing ability to remove it long enough to eat and were considering a feeding tube. The respirator was now a serious consideration. Knowing how much Melody feared even the thought of being placed on that machine I was concerned for her peace of mind. So far the panic attacks that she battled with so frequently had not been occurring. Time to step up my game. This was definitely “spiritual warfare.”
Day 16: Tuesday (11/16) – No contact with Melody today. No call from the nurse for my daily update. I tried calling the hospital, only to be told that someone would call me when they were able to. I went to bed with no communication from anyone in Melody’s world. Definitely a night of total reliance on Daddy.
Day 17: Wednesday (11/17) – Today, instead of my normal call from a nurse with an update, I received a call from Melody’s primary Doctor explaining to me that the time had come to place Melody on a ventilator. her breathing had become so weak, even with the assistance of her BiPap, that there was now concern over pneumonia setting in. Since no one had talked to Melody about this yet I asked the Doctor to let me be the one to tell her. I dreaded this call knowing just how badly she feared this moment. You see, back in 2018 Melody was rushed to the hospital, and placed on a ventilator, while incapacitated. Three days later she woke up in a strange room, with tubes down her throat, and absolutely no idea of where she was or what was going on. In a state of panic she figured out she was in the hospital and began pressing the call button for help. She pushed the button over and over in pain and panic for almost 30 minutes before someone walking by noticed that she was thrashing about in her bed. Come to find out her bed was unplugged from the wall and her “panic button” was not reaching out to anyone for help. This experience haunted Melody. Her fear opened the door for a “spirit of fear” to stalk her mind, and the thought of being placed on a ventilator became a very real threat of pain and death which up to this point she had not been able to overcome. Now perhaps you understand the gravity of this phone call.
Let’s stop here. I need to catch my breath, reel in my emotions, and spend some time with my Daddy (my Heavenly Abba Father), before sharing what comes next. Until tomorrow…