“Honor your father and mother. Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 19:19 NLT)
“Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise:” (Ephesians 6:2 NLT)
“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15 ESV)
Today is the day that we have set apart to honor fathers – Father’s Day 2023. It is a very different Father’s day for me as I have just moved from Grand Rapids to Jackson, Michigan. My three daughters and son all live in West Michigan, and for the first time in their lives I do not. The bright side is that this move has brought me back to where I was raised placing me within 8 miles of my dad and siblings.
I 1983 I moved from Jackson to Grand Rapids to go to Bible School. While there I fell in love with Melody (my wife of 37 years) and together we fell in love with Grand Rapids. About a year and a half ago Melody moved out of Grand Rapids to her new home in Paradise, and now, after 40 years, I have moved out to go back to the area in which I grew up. I am excited to spend more time with my 95 year old dad!
Sadly, we are living in a highly “fatherless” society. Many children are being raised with no father in the home. Many others have a father, but he is so caught up in “building a career” that he is absent most of the time. Looking back I must admit that during the most critical years of my kids lives (their teen years) I was so filled with building a business that I was far more absent than I should have been. My daughter Maria recently published a book in which she described my journey during those years. What she said was truly an eye opener for me.
My son was a BMX (bicycle motocross) racer for a number of years. As a family we jumped into that sport right along with him. Our racing experience began as a fun filled family activity as we would turn race events into trackside dinners and weekend family trips. Little by little I became more involved in volunteering at the tracks (announcing, gate starter, corner marshal, etc.,) and became separated from the family during races as I worked during the events. After a few years My son stopped racing, however, I saw a need, and opportunity, to improve the local race experience so I incorporated Midwest Cycling & Xtreme Sports Association. Now what began as a fun family outing became an all consuming business venture for me.
In her book, Maria describes how she wanted to spend time with her dad so she would go with me to work on the tracks only to be treated as an “employee” and sent to areas to work separated from me. She eventually gave up on keeping my attention so she quit going along as I traveled from track to track. In a very real way I became an “absent dad” as I spent most of my waking hours away from the family trying to build a business that would benefit other families while neglecting mine.
Today I have the opportunity to raise my 14 year old granddaughter Savannah. It is my prayer that regsardless of what I do vocationally from here on out that I not make the same mistakes with her. She needs a “father figure” who is present and attentive in her life. That is me. I have been told that kids spell love, “T-I-M-E.” I think that rings true. Even more important than time is attention. I need to be present when I am present (I think you know what I mean).
On this Father’s Day I am reminded of just how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He is ever present and constantly thinking about me. He desires to be involved in every aspect of my life. He walks and talks with me each and every day. He wants to do the same in your life as well. Let Him in. You will be glad that you did!
Happy Father’s Day!