“But you have received the Holy Spirit, and He lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Holy Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what He teaches is true – it is not a lie.So just as He has taught you, remain in the fellowship.” (1 John 2:27 NLT)
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4 NKJV)
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide an escape, so that you can bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 BSB)
As I walked into the Administration Building at the Grand Rapids School of the Bible and Music (GRSBM), after over 10 years of wandering outside of the Lord’s desire and design for my life, I felt like I was finally going in the direction I was meant to go. I must admit that all of my addictions and struggles did not instantly disappear, but I knew that life was taking a major turn for the better. I enrolled as a double major in Pastoral Studies and Sacred Music. Within a week I was settled into a school owned house with 12 other guys and heading to my first class. I had entered the promised land (soon I would confront my first “walled city” and meet my first “giant”).
Along with the return to academics and music, I started to make some wonderful new friends. These were friends who loved the Lord and had a hunger for His Word. I would soon find out that just like me they were not perfect, but they had a desire to live in a way that pleases God and builds His Kingdom. The icing on the cake is that during this first semester at school the Lord brought the woman that would become my wife, and mother of our 4 wonderful children, into my life. I knew from the first time I met her that she was the one for me. However, I almost missed this godsend due to my insecurities and fear created by past failed relationships. Once the Lord helped me over those hurdles it was full steam ahead into a relationship based on the rock solid foundation of Jesus and His Word that has stood the test of time for almost 37 years (5 of the best years of Melody’s life).
It was the end of the first semester and time to head home for Christmas break. I had not tasted a drop of alcohol, or put a cigarette my lips, since the first day of school. Being away from the school, for the first time since this new chapter in my life began, I was in an environment in which these old habits raised their nasty heads. Half way through the break, while alone on a Friday night, every fiber of my mind and body started longing for a “night of fun.” You guessed it, I gave in to the temptation. I lied to myself and decided that I would go out dancing, but not drink or smoke. After all, there is dancing in the Bible isn’t there? Once I got to the bar I again lied to myself and decided to have just one drink. Jesus did turn water into wine didn’t He? And I think my stomach was hurting a bit, so according to Paul’s writing to Timothy I should “take a little wine for my stomach’s sake.”, right? Wrong! It’s obvious where these “twists” on scripture came from, but that night they worked for me. The next morning I woke up on the living room floor of the house in which I was staying, hung over with no recollection of when or how I got there. Even worse, I had a name and phone number written on my hand. To this day I have no memory of what I did, or didn’t do, that night.
After being hit between the eyes by the fiery darts of guilt, shame, and self condemnation, I called Melody to let her know that I had a change of plans and would not be heading back to school. After some persuading on her part I shared what I had done and told her that I was not worthy of pursuing a life of ministry, and that I definitely was not good enough for her. She refused to listen to my self pity and told me to pack up my stuff because she and her sister were coming to get me. The Lord rescued me once again. He used two guys home on vacation to get me to Bible College. Now He used two determined sisters to do it again. This act of selfless love changed me forever.
They say that “experience is the best teacher.” I do not believe that for a minute. If that were true I would be a genius. It seems that it takes very little time for me to forget what I should have learned, and as you can see there seems to be a pattern of “experience” repeating itself far too many times. I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only one disproving this educational theory. What is the best teacher? The Holy Spirit and the Word.
Tomorrow we will pick this back up.